Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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