how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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