There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
