i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you made out with another girl for some wings
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
