Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
