I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
