i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
