This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think your dad took our porno
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
