I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
