my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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