no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
