i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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