Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
