Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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