thus making me awesome and them whores
it was like eating out sand paper
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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