I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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