her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
