how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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