I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
