I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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