I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
