i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
