I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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