the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
