they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Say something about gay babies.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it's like heaven, but drunker
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
