I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
