Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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