She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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