Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
