and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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