I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Couch. On fire.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
