ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
