just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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