Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
