Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
