why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
