After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
