I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
