I got chris browned last night
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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