just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
