How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
These tits shall not be calmed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
