I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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