Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
