just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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