just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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