Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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