you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
