That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
