I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am mentally ready for anal.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
