its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Blood and glitter go together right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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