Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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