You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
