apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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