So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
