I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
