At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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