yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
