How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
